Wanted, The Philosopher

Punch May 1874

[209] "PHILOSOPHER WANTED (B. A. preferred), as SECRETARY to a LADIES' CLUB. State Terms and Salary required. Apply, by letter, to Eusebius, 22, Upper Berkeley Street West, Hyde Park Square."–(Times Advertisement.)

Spare their pains;
Wait her transit here, addrest
Upper Berkeley Street West–
Happy swains!

LL the young Philosophers,
Lo, a sudden impulse stirs
      Head and heart,
For the pippin, writ –O glory!
"Detur sapientiori"
      Keen to start!

Some 'twixt man and ape the chasm
To bridge o'er with Protoplasm
      Have endeavoured:
Some for Huxley, some for Moses,
Have pulled caps and almost noses,

Some who in Kerguelen's Land
To watch Venus' transit planned,
From Development Darwinian
Some ascend on fancy’s pinion,
      Scorning cheek;
Of development they dream,
Swift as light and soft as cream–
      Hub, from Sec.!

"See" (triumphantly say some)
"Natural Selection come
      To the rub,
When, by Nature’s laws, the Blues
Their B.A. are free to choose
      In their Club!"

Ladies, do think where you are!
Youth your Sec, should find a bar
      In his way!
To B. A.’s sans barbe prefer
That sedate Philosopher,
      Punch, B.A.!


C. Blinderman & D. Joyce
Clark University